Caregiver Wisdom . . . on Control
We Caregivers Are Not the Ones in Control…
I have learned in Caregiving that we Caregivers are not the ones in control. There is no such thing as control for us. We don’t make people sick or well, we only help them as they go through either. So, all we can possibly do is the very best we can. Most of us are not trained Medical Professionals anyway, and they mess up a lot. Still, all you can possibly do is the best you can. You have no responsibility beyond that if you have done all you can do. You aren’t supposed to “fix” anyone, merely help them with whatever journey they are on.
This being the case, take care of yourself because that’s what allows you to do the best you can do. If it’s stealing three minutes that you feel are safe standing in the sun outside your door, do it. If it’s watching a movie and you have time, do it while you look out for your L.O. Become inventive in finding ways to pamper yourself without sacrificing the quality of care you give. It can be done; it is not easy.
Still, remember, you’re doing this for you and so that you can give the best care you possibly can. Remember, it is “the condition” that makes them do all the things that stress you, not them. Never feel guilty for doing a good thing. If there is any way to get an hour or more of respite, do it. It is best for everyone.
Family Caregiver Alliance does offer assistance with respite. Review the section on “Retreats” on our Workshops, Classes and Retreats web page, or email our Education Coordinator for more information.