The Trouble with Hope

I had a strained relationship with hope before my wife was diagnosed with cancer.  To me, hope was a high waiting for a low, a fix with a nasty flipside.  Far from the precious entity exalted by legions of poets and philosophers, hope was just another coordinate on the pain/pleasure cycle existing in infinite balance with its opposite.  In the same way that happiness alternates with sadness, or desire with loss, hope alternates with fear. One requires that the other exist. Hope was for suckers, and I was no sucker.

It Beats You Down, Burns You Out, Worries You to Death, and Never Stops

Hello everyone! I am new to this site but not new to caregiving. This may be a little long, but I encourage you to read it. I encourage you because I know that you can relate to everything that I am going to say.....

Didn't Choose to Be a Caregiver, But Cancer Never Gives Us Any Choice

I am the only daughter (age 46) of my parents (ages 68 and 66, dad and mom), and my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine/cervical cancer out of the blue. She was in the best shape of her life, and she and Dad were about to visit Nepal as they were enjoying their retirement together. My husband and I were living in another part of the country when she got her diagnosis, and my life turned upside down. I had just moved with my husband to take a new job ( for me) in the Northwest after living 20 years in the Midwest.

Telephone Support for Caregivers of Patients with Cancer

Citation Walsh, S., M., & Schmidt, L. A. (2003). Telephone support for caregivers of patients with cancer. Cancer Nursing, 26(6), 448-453.

Design Study

Purpose The purpose of this study was to determine the feasibility of conducting a brief telephone intervention, Tele-Care II, for caregivers of hospice patients.

Participants The participants were N = 14 caregivers of hospice patients (5 were able to complete the study).

Effects on Depressive Symptomatology of Caregivers of Cancer Patients

A randomized, controlled trial of patient/caregiver symptom control intervention. Effects on depressive symptomatology of caregivers of cancer patients.

Citation Kurtz, M. E., Kurtz, J. C., Given, C. W. &Given, B. (2005). A randomized, controlled trial of patient/caregiver symptom control intervention. Effects on depressive symptomatology of caregivers of cancer patients. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 30(2), 112-122.

Design Experiment.

The Fearless Caregiver

(above, left) My mother on her 90th birthday, October 3, 2013. (above, right) The entire Foulkes family - My mother (Clemonteese), my late father (Arthur) and me (Roland), taken in Christmas, December, 1987, six months after my father's diagnosis of, and surgery for, Metastatic Colon Cancer and six months prior to Arthur's death on May 18th, 1988. The black & white inset photo is of our family in 1956 when I was six months old.

The Value of Sharing What You've Learned

My husband has cancer. The disease and his treatments have dictated the last eleven years of our lives. He was diagnosed in 2002 with chronic lymphocytic leukemia, CLL, (a type of nonHodgkin’s lymphoma), usually considered an old man’s cancer. He was 39 at the time and a partner in one of the largest private gastroenterology medical groups in northern California. It was three weeks before our third child was born and a sweet time in our lives. Our other children were ages 4 and 7. After the initial treatments we had two good years with ‘no detectable disease.’

The Importance of Self-Care

“I have uterine cancer”. These were the words my mother spoke to me as I stood in the doorway of her bedroom in disbelief and shock. At first I thought she wasn’t serious. Maybe the tests had revealed a mistake. Maybe the lab results got switched with someone else. That day in 2010 shook my world and during the next two years I would understand what it would be like to take on the role of a caregiver. I would be tested physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

A Guide to Taking Care of Yourself

"The care you give to yourself is the care you give to your loved one," said a caregiver. Absolutely the easiest thing for someone to say and the hardest thing to accept is the advice to take care of yourself as a caregiver. It is often hard to see beyond the care tasks that await you each morning.

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