Caregiver Wisdom

Caregiver By Chance, Caregiver By Choice

At nine years old, I lost my dad. So young, however so wise to know I needed to help my mom with my brothers and sister. You see, my mom was not well so I was the “fill-in mom.”

At the age of sixteen, my mom died leaving six children. As we got older, I found myself caring for four siblings as they were diagnosed with Huntington’s disease. There were no support groups within miles; there was no one who really understood my frustrations let alone the disease.

Traveling this noble, sweet, heart-wrenching passage

My husband, Gary, survived ten years with late-stage prostate cancer. Ten good years. He wasn’t supposed to live that long. There were no “For Dummies” books on how to do this, so I made my share of mistakes as caregiver. But I also learned some great life lessons — lessons about slowing down with the patient; about removing my Super Hero cape and accepting help; about the importance of self-care. I discovered that people want to be part of our stories, which means we should let them love on us as we travel this noble, sweet, heart-wrenching, care-giving passage. 

The Caregiver’s Mantra: Doing the Best We Can

I’m going to bury my face in a pillow and scream if one more person tells me to be sure to take care of myself. Go for a walk, take a vacation, they advise. I know they are trying to help, but really? Telling me one more thing to do? Oh well, they are just doing the best they can.

She’s the Strongest Woman I Know

To keep my story as short as possible, I would first like to say that my mom is one of the strongest women I know, she was petite, had many conditions but she was in high spirits, strong, cared and loved everyone and kept a smile on her face.

If Dying Sounds Like Singing

Momma had another seizure this morning following 2 days of inconsolable, raving hallucinations. She’s been under hospice care the past 2 months and, until this event, had been showing signs of improvement as they’ve weaned her off some medications. Dad witnessed the first part of her seizure – a ghoulish shriek warping into a convulsive fit.

What I Learned

It’s always hard to be with someone for up to 16 hours a day and just watch them whittle away and not be able to do anything to help. All you can do is just sit there and watch and pray that every day when you walk in those doors that they are having a good day.

I always start my day the same way. I walk in with a smile on my face and open up the blinds and prepare breakfast and in those moments there’s just something magical because for a split moment it’s like Ms. Lois is young and well and for a brief moment everything is calm.

Our New Beginning

Hello, I am new to this site and after reading a few of the stories I am actually glad to find out that I’m not so crazy and the emotions I have are normal.

Incompetent Caregiver

My friend just died prematurely and alone because her spouse was incompetent. He ignored physical symptoms she had and did not get medical care for her until she was critically ill. I urged him for a month to take her to physician. Others did, as well. But he couldn't seem to put this into action, rather kept wondering. I must add he is a psychiatrist very divorced from physical medicine. He kept thinking all symptoms were mental.

I Love Caregiving

I stared doing caregiving in a facility about eight years ago. It started off as doing internship, but it really grew on to me after I met an elderly couple who were in the home together. Not a day would go by that they wouldn’t be together. I grew a bond with both. They had no kids as the wife was unable to. I still care for them and they are as healthy as can be. They make coming to work enjoyable.


Why I Love Caregiving

I began at the age of 14 helping my mom care for my grandpa who was paralyzed from his waist down and also had Alzheimer’s.

My mom couldn't lift him as she had back issues from an accident. So after years of caring for my grandpa and seeing so many elderly people not getting the love or attention in convalescent homes I decided to continue my career caring for elderly.


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