This time of year, our thoughts turn to family and friends, celebrating relationships, and giving to others. I would like to list my own personal recommendations on gifts family caregivers could use this holiday season and beyond.

Gift #1: Respite

Seriously. If we are serious about supporting families, let’s give those who care full-time (most caregivers are more than full-time) two weeks of respite a year. Everyone needs a substantial break–caregivers most of all.

I don’t remember when my mother forgot who I was. But I know she did.

Somewhere along the slowly sloping path of Alzheimer’s disease, she forgot I was her daughter. She forgot what “daughter” meant.

And so I became a friend. A friend that never stopped calling her “Mom.”

It wasn’t always easy to let her go.

Who knows you better than your mom? Who loves you more than your mom?  Who do you want to tell things to, more than your mom?

As her friend, I listened.

For eleven years I pleaded with my ‘challenging’ elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but he always insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired soon sighed in exasperation, ‘Jacqueline, I just can't work with your father. His temper is impossible to handle and he’s not going to accept help until he's on his knees himself.’

FCA’s 30 Days of Caregiving blog features stories of caregiving as submitted by families across the country. Family caregivers are invited to send a story and a picture and share their experiences with others through FCA’s website.

FCA thanks all the caregiving families who have shared their stories of love, loss, bravery, triumphs, community, humor, and sadness. These stories and tips for coping truly help others.