Caregiver or Failure?

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Amos Daniel Johnson, Pennsylvania

The reason I ask that is because I currently take care of my disabled amputee (wheechair bound) grandmother; my husband who has suffered four strokes, but still keeps on and pushes, despite losing the peripheral vision on the right side; my mother-in-law who has had a hip replacement and still mourns the loss of my father-in-law; oh yeah, and then there’s me, when I can fit it in.

I'm currently working on the purchase of a permanent, suitable residence for my family as we are currently renting a two-story town home that doesn't fit our family functionally. I have found what would be the perfect setup for them for years to come. Factoring in the wheelchair and possible scooter usage, this home is a ranch-style home that fits us perfectly. I am also willing to entertain a one-story manufactured home or a well maintained double-wide trailer home.

We also have two dogs — a mini dachshund named Sassy and a teacup chihuahua named Chico, which is another reason why we are looking to purchase or lease-purchase a property, as they are part of the family, too.

I promised my family, especially my grandmother, a better quality of life since she chose to come live with me. I must take care of her as she took care of me. I have 26 years total experience in nursing, although I have experience in other areas. I like making sure my family is okay, I like gardening, and DIY projects. I'm 42 years old and have never taken a vacation due to the loyalty to my family.

I come from a very close-knit family, but at times I feel taken advantage of. I watch my grandmother every day get more and more weaker as the days go by, she really looks forward to seeing her greatgrands, but doesn't get to see them that much. Everybody always seems to have something to do or somewhere to be. At whatever time they can fit her in is when she gets to see them.

Without transportation it's a little bit difficult to take my grandmother and family out to different places, so they don't have to be cooped up in the house on days that are nice. My grandmother likes to get out and go browse around in the stores and hasn't done that in quite some time, hence is why, at times most frequently, I feel like I'm failing them, I don't know, what do you think?