A critical skill for family caregivers: setting physical and emotional boundaries
It is not the tasks in caregiving that make us ill, it is the emotions around the tasks or a difficult caregiver relationship that wear us down. Setting physical and emotional boundaries helps us manage both difficult emotions and difficult caregiving relationships.
Recognizing what you are willing and able to do for someone, along with what you are you can handle emotionally, is the first step to managing emotions like guilt, anger or resentment.
The second step is learning how to communicate your boundaries and needs in a way that the other person hears you. It is important to recognize they may not be able to give you what you need, so how do you move from family or origin to family of choice?
During the program, we will use real life examples to illustrate a technique which uses a three-step process to communicate your boundaries and gain agreement.
Deb Hallisey is a past caregiver who lost her job due to caregiving. As a result, she founded her company Advocate for Mom and Dad. Deb writes on caregiving issues for adult children of aging parents at her website www.AdvocateforMomandDad.com. She is the author of two books Your Caregiver Relationship Contract, a practical, step-by-step guide for discussing relationship issues that arise between caregivers and their care partners. And A Relationship Contract for Dementia Caregivers, which provides the reader with practical knowledge and necessary steps at each stage of the disease, to continuously adapt your practices and expectations to meet the needs of the person you care for and, more importantly, your own needs as the disease progresses.
Debra consults with family caregivers, helping them to navigate this journey. She is a regional speaker for ARTIS Senior Living and has been a guest speaker and trainer for a variety of organizations including The Care Years Academy, Northwell Hospital System, The Parkinson Foundation of Oklahoma, United Way and many memory care units across New Jersey and Pennsylvania.
Deb is a Certified Caregiving Consultant™, Certified Caregiving Educator, Certified Caregiving Facilitator and Certified Dementia Practitioner®. She holds an MA in Leadership and Supervision.
This class is funded by Alameda County Department of Adult and Aging Services, Contra Costa County Area Agency on Aging, the City of San Francisco’s Department of Disability and Aging Services, San Mateo County Aging & Disability Services, Sourcewise, and the California Department of Aging.