I feel like a person on a bungee cord

February 15, my mother, 93 years old had the second stroke of her life, about 10 years after the first one. She was only hopsitalized for a few days, but then went into rehab for over 30 days which we both thought did very little if any good. When she came home, she came needing 24 hour companionship and care. It was suggested that we move her to assistedt living which is most costly and she owns her own home.

So as a result I ended up leaving my home with a boyfriend there to move in with her. She can talk, but most of the time is confused enough for me to find the need to verify all details! She does not remember to take her ONLY THANK GOD two pills a day a thyroid and plavix but she forgets the PLAVIX and I have noticed lately when I ask if she took it, she’ll say “yes,” and yet it is still on the table waiting to be taken.

For the most part we have had a good go of it until recently when I had to have the exterminator come and all hell broke loose. You would think I captured her and tried to steal everything she owns. She did not appreciate me trying to get rid of bugs at her house and moving stuff around to do so. Then she threatened to call the police because for a few days after extermination the birds that she insists on feeding did now show up, so she wanted everyone to go to jail over it!

I feel like a person on a bungee cord, constantly being yanked back. I have no more than a  four hour (being generous) window to leave and get back home on evenings and weekends. I have little to no life and feel edgy and anxious all the time now.  My BP has been normal all of my 53 years until recently IT IS NOW BORDERLINE BEING HIGH.

GOD SPEED. That is my input as an only child caregiver. I have no outside help except daily, my X boyfriend comes to heat up her lunch which I must always have planned and pre-prepared. For that he gets $50 a week and he lives in my 1500 sq. ft. home with my dogs which he feeds and lets out. Let me say I would trade places in a beat if I could. I have had no vacation and don’t forsee getting to have one as I am the only caregiver available.

It could be much worse, but this is a plight no doubt.

[NOTE: readers should consider viewing FCA’s Services for State for support and resources in your state. FCA also maintains a toll free number (800-445-8106) where you can speak with our national resource and intake specialist who may be able to assist you with your local caregiver resources. Calls are returned in the order received. Or register for CareNav which helps families navigate the complexities of the caregiving journey.]